“But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down. Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that’s capital-T True is that you get to decide how you’re gonna try to see it.” — David Foster Wallace, “This is Water,” Commencement Speech to Kenyon College, 2005
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Walked into the post office yesterday morning carrying the hand-written card and extra copy of Dave Eggers’ “The Captain and the Glory” I was sending to a best-friend for his January birthday. After picking out and addressing a padded envelope, I went to take my place in line … just as a mom and her young son were walking in.
The boy, maybe eight, was carrying a package at least half as tall as he was. Could barely peek over its top. Based on the way he was waddling, the contents had some heft.
Carrying the lighter of our respective loads, I let ‘em go in front of me.
The post office people behind the counter were in the process of switching shifts — logging in and out and whatnot — so our patience was, um, appreciated.
Mom asked the boy if wanted to put the package down while they waited.
“I’m holding it,” he said, defiantly, standing on one leg for a sec so he could adjust his grip.
I smiled at such innocence.
Obviously, his first time waiting in line at the post office.
Within a few seconds he was grunting.
Mom moved her suggestion from the interrogative to the imperative.
He remained a stubborn helper.
However, his strength timed out before the glacial logging in process.
He put the box down.
Looked around and noticed the floor-standing carousel of gift cards strategically placed near where the line begins.
Asked Mom if he could have a dollar for a Roblox gift card.
Upon which she proceeded to explain the business concept of disintermediation to her child.
Told him it was ‘cheaper’ to just purchase credits from the site, rather than going through a middle man.
She wasn’t merely patient. She was generous.
You could tell they spent a lot of time together for how easy their conversation was.
Reminded me how much I enjoyed conversing with our kids when they were young.
How much I learned from the way their minds worked.
“Thank you for your patience, can I help the next customer?”
The son cupped his hands back under the box.
Hoisted.
Waddled over to the counter and heaved it up there himself.
“I see you brought your helper,” said the freshly logged-in counter person.
“She can’t lift with her one arm, so I have to carry things,” said the boy, carrying the conversation as responsibly as he did the box.
Over the next couple minutes of the transaction, the adults left space for the boy’s participation.
He complemented the clerk on her gift cards, relaying how he wanted a dollar one, but his Mom said it was better to buy credits online.
“Have you ever gotten a gift card before?” the clerk asked, as she processed the postage for the box.
“Yes,” he said. “Sometimes my Mom gets me one … when I do good things.”
I inferred from the small sample size I was witnessing that he had a few credits in the bank.
Meanwhile, a line began to form behind me, headed by a white-haired, tightly-coated, tightly-lipped older woman.
Who was out of both stamps and patience.
As the boy elucidated on his upcoming birthday and that one time he was late for football practice, the woman’s huffs under her breath were oddly comparable to the boy’s grunts under the box.
I made smiling ‘what-are-you-going-to-do?’ eye-contact with her a couple times to give her frustration a chance to froth over.
She returned a couple huffy head shakes and an unsmiling eye roll.
In these moments I like to remind myself that the exact same experience is experienced differently by the folks experiencing it.
The reasons for a tightly-coated elder’s impatience can be just as valid as a Mom’s inexhaustible well.
The post office can sure test both.
Sandwiched in between — both me and time standing still — I saw life flash in front of me.
And over my shoulder.
Before me … a Mom doing her best to teach her boy how the world’s supposed to work, while protecting him from how it actually does with her one good arm.
Behind me … the world’s grumpy restlessness to just get on with it.
“Thanks for your patience … Can I help the next person in line?”
I waited an extra second so I could watch the boy reach for his Mom’s hand as they left the counter.
What to the world looks like an eight-year-old’s obliviousness to time … the 55-year-old knows is, in fact, the keenest appreciation.
Letters for Maggie 