AKA “best/worst team-building event ever.” 

The story behind this t-shirt?

A cautionary tale.

If you’ve never been curling before, I have two words for you: proper footwear.  

Few years ago while visiting our mothership in Milwaukee, my boss at the time organized an after-work team-building outing. He thought it’d be a good bonding experience for us to go to an ice arena in Milwaukee and try some curling. I’d never been before. After signing a waiver, I remember we got a quick primer, during which the instructor mentioned that competitive curlers have special footwear, which we would be forgoing for our 90-minute session. 

We broke into teams. I was paired with our Director of Creative Operations. She’s very competitive. 

We were in the middle of our first match, and were nursing a one-point lead over the other teams. It was my turn to ‘sweep.’ 

As you proly know, way it works is that one person aims the stone towards the scoring rings at the other end of the alley, while their teammate sweeps the ice in front of the stone with a special push broom, which can impact the stone’s direction and speed. 

Couple seconds after my teammate launched our next stone, I was dutifully following it down the alley. I remember her voice reverberating in the arena as she yelled … “Sweep! Sweep!” 

And I’m sweepin’ like a motherf*cker … when all of a sudden my legs go out from under me … and I face-plant on the ice.

Must’ve blacked out for a second, because next thing I remember is opening my eyes and seeing my teammates’ concerned faces staring down at me while flat on my back.  

I had a cut below my left cheek from where I smacked the ice, and was bleeding a bit … whereupon it was decided I should probably get a couple stitches. 

My teammates accompanied me to the ER and very sweetly waited while the doc stitched me up.

Pretty successful bonding experience, as far as team-buildings go. 

I like to point out that, since we were winning when I went ass over tincups, technically speaking I am undefeated on the curling circuit. 

Ever since, whenever I see curling on TV, I instinctively run my hand over my left cheek and say out loud to anyone within earshot …

 “Shit’s harder than it looks.”