This is as close as my closet comes to an everyday driver. 

Courtesy of Morgantown West Virginia’s favorite son, Don Knotts, five-time Emmy-winner for bringing Barney Fife to life on the Andy Griffith Show. 

This one makes one’s torso feel like the ceiling of the Sistine.

Echoing Sun Tzu (“strike at what is weak”), Mayberry’s sensei knew that everything is weakest at its beginning. 

Nike’s pretty proud of Just Do It, eh? 

Hold my chocolate milk, Thelma Lou.

In my house we just nip it ….