So, um, all of this happened.
Even if I had the time or inclination to squeeze it all into a smaller suitcase for you, I’m not sure I would.
It’s just too damn good.
Not the writing itself … just the events as they unfolded.
This is me reminding myself that the most important choice is not this word or that word … it’s picking up the pen in the first place.
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Couple weeks ago when the big blizzard hit, I’d planned to be in Lexington with my oldest for a boys weekend I’d gifted him / us for Christmas.
Our annual-ish pilgrimage to Kentucky to see the Wildcats men’s basketball team play.
Universe had other plans.
Given the forecast I couldn’t see us making it back home on Sunday, which would’ve made a mess of Monday … which would’ve spilled all over the rest of the week.
So the night before the Friday we were supposed to leave, I made the tough call to cancel.
It was the responsible choice … even though it broke my heart.
Got screwed on our Air BnB, as our host had sub-zero interest in even a partial refund.
Lost out on our tickets, too, which weren’t at all cheap when I’d got ‘em at Christmas, and rendered all but worthless by the weather.
The heart-breaking part, though, was missing out on spending time with my son.
He’s just good light to be around.
Bummed and with nothing to do but wait for the snow that would require so much shoveling, I spent time imagining the weekend we might have had.
What we might have done.
Seen.
Tasted.
Noticed.
Wrote my imaginings down in my journal.
In minute detail.
Wasn’t the same, but it was warmer than wallowing.
And it allowed me to lavish some of my ever-fraying attention on what I appreciate about the gift of spending time in my son’s good light.
Spent most of my non-shoveling free time that weekend … imagining.
Treated it as if I was making myself a big ole’ pot of soup with no recipe.
Had no intentions of doing anything with it.
Just wanted to metaphorically stand in front of a boiling pot and inhale the steam while it all cooked down and the snow fell.
Nothing more than an exercise to keep my attention productively occupied.
Until a couple days later, I remembered that I owed my friend Jim a letter.
Had not sent him anything yet in the new year.
I try to make my letters worthy of Jim’s attention.
In reciprocity for the treasure he shares with me.
Jim’s a gifted poet.
In his 90’s.
Health has been failing him as of late.
Still writes.
Often achingly, always beautifully.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the act and the substance of what Jim shares with me.
For starters, he hand writes everything … in wobbly but persistent, near-calligraphic penmanship.
Sends me photocopies of his hand-written stuff.
The intentionality of just that — let alone how he makes words dance — fills my heart full.
Our last correspondence was a golden phone call one evening a couple months ago, when he called just to let me know how much our correspondence means to him … and apologizing for his short breath keeping him from going upstairs (where the printer is) to make me photo copies of his latest poems. The act of him, despite his circumstances, calling me … just to let me know that?
Better than getting a letter in the mail, let me tell you.
Though lately confined to the downstairs of his house, Jim’s aperture on the world remains wide.
He lets so much light in.
Despite his body failing him from a long life’s wear, his poet’s eye, ear and heart remain undiminished.
I find myself often saying aloud how I hope to someday write as well as Jim does in his 90’s.
In the days after the blizzard … seeing all the snow on the ground, I imagined that he probably felt even more cooped up than we did.
I tried to think of something I could send him that he might appreciate, but nothing came to mind.
I hadn’t written anything lately that I felt was worthy.
Then it hit me.
Maybe he’d appreciate some of the soup I’d been toiling over … about the weekend I never had.
So I sloppily ladled some of it onto a page, stuffed it into an envelope, and dropped it into the mail.
This is what I sent …
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“Thursday, Jan. 27, 2026 7:49 a.m.
Dear Jim,
I hope this note finds you keeping warm. Karry just left for work, I think it’s one degree out. I am working remotely today so am anticipating a day of not having to leave the house, other than to walk to the mailbox and drop a postcard in the mail for Emma.
Oh, the weather of the world.
This past weekend Peter and I had planned to make our annual pilgrimage to Lexington to go see the Kentucky Wildcats play. We’ve done it for three or so years. Thursday night we decided to cancel our plans. I didn’t see us being able to make it back on Sunday, and we both needed to be home for work on Monday. The Air BnB host wouldn’t give us a refund, and we lost out on our tickets, but most of all, I just missed the experience of spending the weekend together with Peter. So, rather than wallow in disappointment, I decided to alchemize my circumstances … decided to write a story as if I was writing a journal entry commemorating the trip I imagined us having. Since I approached it as a journal entry, I allowed for the requisite frayed edges …
A brief excerpt
Saturday
I’d be the first one up, maybe a small pot of coffee, a deep inhale from a half-full bag before scooping grounds, let myself be seduced by the slow, gurgling percolation … pour a half-cup into one of the host’s old mugs fished from the cabinets, scribble a few words at whatever desk or counter, a weekend post card from Kentucky to Em … coax Peter awake early enough for … a cold walk over to Stella’s, ceremonially donning our Big Blue gear before heading out, he lending me a jersey from his collection, I’d pick John Wall given the choice.
We’d wait for two together at the counter to open up, and I’d rub my hand over the old coin embedded in the worn and weathered wood … confirmation.
Soak it all in like maple syrup … the tattoos and bleary-eyed chatter of the staff too young too early for a Saturday morning, listen for whatever they’re playing, maybe Tyler Childers …
… scan the poems framed on the walls on the way to the bathroom, one about Fallingwater … catch clips of expectant, game-day banter buzzing from the tables as I pass through.
Warm my hands around a mug of black coffee Kentucky straight from a fresh pot …
… agonize with Peter over our day’s biggest decision … go with Stella’s Hot Brown – the work of the angels — or just eggs, bacon, home fries well-done and those biscuits I sometimes dream about … yeah, proly that, leave the Hot Brown to legend.
He’d ask the girl about the steak and eggs … sometimes we’re just looking for someone in this world to help us say yes.
After ordering, the expectation and my topped off cup enlivening our conversation, I’d ask him his top 5 favorite Wildcats of all-time, and he’d give the cosmic question the attention it deserves … Herro, SGA locks for him, me, I’d proly reach all the way back to my first favorite, Kenny “Sky” Walker, who used to glide so gracefully from on high when he’d throw ‘em down … we’d refine and adjust our lists like safe-cracking thieves listening for confirming clicks til our waitress returns to put our plates down in front of us.
Us just staring like beggars for a couple respectful seconds … and before reaching for the salt and pepper … one of us would certainly say Grace out loud … and oh my gosh … is there anything better than first bites?
Couple years ago a wise person gifted me the notion that, wherever we are, whenever we are, it’s an opportunity to ask the question, “What’s for me here?” It’s baked in the idea that things don’t happen to us, they happen for us. That we always have agency despite our circumstances. That’s among the reasons I remain soooooo inspired and grateful for both the act and the substance of your writing, Jim. I remind myself that the most important choice that you make is not this word or that word … it’s picking up the pen in the first place.
Keep writing, my friend … “
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Got home after 9 p.m. just this past Friday night, after meeting my wife and son for a comfort-food-filled dinner after a long Friday that dropped anchor on an already long week.
Proceeded upstairs, slow-dragging eff bombs across a few of the steps, sloppy-mop-style, as my right knee reminded me it is so not happy with me these days.
But before trudging down the hallway to get ready for bed, I stole a glance at the dining room table to see if there was any mail.
Saw an envelope on the place mat in front of my chair.
Stepped close enough to see my name scrawled in Jim’s persistent near-calligraphic hand.
Thanked the universe aloud for giving my Saturday something to look forward to.
Next day … I exercised monk-like restraint in waiting until I was sitting in the front seat of my car in the parking lot across the street from where I’d just finished a transcendent Saturday morning coffee date with my niece … to pluck Jim’s letter from my bag.
Whereupon I melted in place.
There were two pages in the envelope.
They weren’t photocopies.
They were the genuine articles, hand-written on notebook paper.
First page was a letter, dated Feb. 4.
With Jim’s permission, this is what he wrote to me.
“Pete,
Thanks, your letter of imagining, shaking me out of my accustomed lethargy.
Eliciting an immediate response, to your creativity — woke me up today.
Dull winter days, lasting forever chill, testing my old will to find something new and challenging to do.
Friends, like you, willing to take the time, and energy, to remember, with compassion, a lonely old man, far away, appreciated greatly — as we wait the renewed spring of life’s productivity.
I daily, nightly, pray for all your family, for love, God’s strength, to enliven your hopes and activity.
Keep sharing, and God be ever with you all.
Love and care,
Jim”
The note itself, poetry.
But the second page contained the poem.
Signed, dated and …
"Dedicated to Pete and Son's Imagined day," Imagine That! I salute man's unique gift of imagining, bringing life to an entirely new world, of what might have been, setting his feet on streets where he's never been, feeling an intimate touch of impunity, looking into eyes never meant for me. Imagining, escape from a world of set destiny, freedom to create, in god-like accuracy, people, places and things, of sheer, imagined fantasy, perfectly fashioned and enjoyed, if only momentarily my own separate world of autonomy. The coffee is perfect, the eggs even better, the son at my side, a co-conspirator, not hindered by time, or other places to be, we idle, an hour, in a diner's protective imagery, reality forever bypassed, in this freedom's play, to make a day go entirely our way. Having had our opportunity, in spite of a short dismay, life always has a way of disappointing us, I have created a whole new day, paper and pen and who's to say, which of the two will last the longest, in our time-clouded memory?
__
Oh my gosh.
I hope to some day write as well as Jim writes in his 90’s.
My heart was singing the entire 37-minute drive home from where I’d met my niece for coffee.
Had to pee by the time I pulled in the driveway.
Climbed upstairs and made a beeline for the bathroom that sits off my bed room.
On my way back through, I instinctively grabbed an old journal off my unmade bed.
Cracked it open to some random page that, it turns out, wasn’t random at all, and read the words I’d been moved to scribble on a page on some forgotten day some years ago … with only a vague hunch that my someday heart might need them to help me make sense of a cold world.
A quote from Rick Rubin.
“We share our way of seeing in order to spark an echo in others. Art is a reverberation of an impermanent life. Enduring affirmations of existence.”
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From the thaw of a weekend-ruining blizzard … a poem for this world that would have never otherwise existed …
… I I hadn’t imperfectly imagined what was lost … and shared my way of seeing it like thrown together soup
… to warm an old poet’s heart … moving him to write and share spring once again.
Every bit of all of it … nothing more and nothing less than the reverberations of impermanent lives.
Enduring affirmations of our existence.
A whole new day, paper and pen and who’s to say …
which of the two will last the longest?
